I'm a firm believer in honesty and transparency in relationships. If you're going to be with someone, it's important that they respect your feelings, tell the truth, and be upfront with you about everything in their life. I've found that liars are unreliable people who will do anything to save face or avoid the consequences o f their actions, which bluntly means they might not be worth your time or effort. Here are some signs that can help you spot liars and cheaters: The core of their issue is insecurity. If someone is a liar or cheater, the core of their issue is insecurity. They are obsessed with keeping up appearances and maintaining control over their (and your) life, which can be healthy in small doses but becomes unhealthy when taken to extremes. You are afraid of being found out for who you are--and then losing what matters most: your partner and friends. You may also fear being alone or judged by others for making mistakes (because all humans make mistakes). If a person lies, they are not confident in their relationship with you or themselves. Here it is folks, in black and white: · Lying is trying to make yourself or the other person feel better. It's also a way to improve your position in the relationship. · Lying is an act of self-preservation and self-protection, but it can easily backfire if you're not careful. If someone lies to you, they might be doing so because they think it will help them avoid getting into trouble or hurt feelings--but all they do is hurt themselves by making their partner distrustful and suspicious of them. · People lie to others to make themselves seem more important or influential than they are. · Lying is one of the most common ways people try to make themselves seem more important or influential than they are. · Lying can also be a way for people who feel insecure about themselves (for example, someone with low self-esteem) to boost their ego by making others believe things about them that aren't true. Lies lies lies lies lies. Another way liars try to appear more important or powerful than they are is by telling lies that make other people look bad, like spreading gossip or starting rumors-so they look better in comparison. The liar might think: "If people think I'm so smart and clever, maybe they'll like me better. When someone is dishonest about a big deal like cheating, they're insecure about something else in the relationship. If someone is lying (there’s that word again) about a big deal like cheating, they're insecure about something else in the relationship. That insecurity can be caused by low self-esteem, lack of social skills and emotional immaturity. Insecurities can also be tied back to trauma and abuse from childhood or adolescence that hasn't been dealt with yet (something I've written about before). In my experience with clients who have been cheated on, it almost always comes down to one thing: They were afraid their partners would leave them if they knew how unhappy they were in the relationship. Now for the cheaters. Cheaters give themselves an excuse to be dishonest and get out of a bad situation without considering their partner's feelings. They don't think about how their actions will affect you, they don't think about the consequences of their actions, and they don't even consider how it would make YOU feel if you found out that they were cheating on you. Cheaters only think about themselves! Like a liar, cheaters blame the other person for something that only THEY could control, like their actions. They're insecure and need to make themselves look better by making you feel bad about yourself or your relationship. They want to escape a bad situation without considering your feelings, so they blame YOU for their actions (e.g., "You got dumped because you weren't good enough!"). So, while there are plenty of good people are out there, liars and cheaters are most definitely in the mix. It's important to recognize them for the creeps they are and dump them before the above signs become too serious. xoxo Erin Time to Dish: Have you cheated? Have you been cheated on? How did that may you feel? Did you stay with the person that cheated on you? If you are the one that cheated, why? How did or do you recover from being cheated on or cheating?

Have you ever felt like you're not enough? So, the person you are showing love doesn't share your feelings, or that he/she isn’t as invested in the relationship as you are? Well, I have good news for you: you are enough. Your love is true and pure. Let’s explore and settle this matter once and for all: Do you feel like you aren't good enough? Of course, you are enough. You are more than enough. You are perfect, and nothing can change that. You were born to do amazing things and make an impact on this world, no matter how small or large your goal may be and there is no time limit on your dreams! You are loved by so many people in ways you cannot even begin to understand or comprehend because they don't want anything from you other than your happiness and well-being (and maybe some cookies). You deserve all the good things life has to offer because being alive itself is a gift from God/the Universe/whatever higher power exists out there beyond our understanding at any given moment in time. We have been given free will so we can choose how we wish our lives to turn out…so why not choose wisely? Do you feel like the person you love doesn't share your feelings? If you've found yourself in the position of loving someone who doesn't return that love, it can be hard to accept. You may feel like your feelings are not enough and wonder why they would reject such pure adoration. But here’s the thing: they need to remember that your love is true and pure, and it just wasn't meant for them. Maybe they're not ready for a relationship at this point in their life or maybe there are other reasons why they don't see what an amazing person you are! But no matter what happens, know that there will always be someone out there who appreciates your affectionate nature as much as we do here. Honestly! Did he/she leave you? This is simple and I Implore you to take this in: They leave you because they are not ready to be with you. They leave you because they are not ready to be loved. They leave you because they are not ready to love you, or anyone else for that matter. You are enough. Your love is true and pure. You are enough. Takeaways: Your love is true and pure, and you do not need to change for anyone else. You can find someone who loves you for who you are. We all want to be loved and feel that our love is true and pure. It's important to remember that you are enough, even if it doesn't seem like it. Your feelings are valid and deserve respect from others. You deserve happiness in your life, please always keep that top of mind. Love you, Erin

Divorce can be a painful and extremely stressful experience. Fortunately, you don't have to go through it alone and we’re here to share some tips and trends that can help make the process easier. Trends in ‘23. · Divorce is on the rise. In the U.S., divorce rates have risen over the past decade and show no signs of slowing down. · Divorce rates vary by state and demographics. Some states have higher than average divorce rates, while others have lower ones. Likewise, some demographics are more likely to end their marriages than others (for example, men typically get divorced more often than women). · Religious affiliation can affect your likelihood of getting a divorce. Different religions have different perceptions of divorce: Some religions accept divorce as a fact of life, while others only believe it is right under certain circumstances like adultery. Also, some religions allow remarriage after divorce, and others believe it is inherently wrong. It’s complicated and something to think about. Tip #1 - Make sure you have the right legal team. The first step in your divorce process is choosing the right legal team. You want a lawyer with experience with divorce cases and who knows the laws in your state, but most importantly, you want them to be interested in helping you. A good lawyer will listen to what you say and offer advice based on her/his knowledge of the law and past experiences with similar cases. Tip #2 - Your needs are essential, as well as your spouse's needs. One of the most important things to remember is that your needs and your spouses are essential. This may seem obvious, but it can be easy to forget in a divorce situation when there is so much emotional turmoil surrounding you and your spouse. It's essential to ensure both parties understand each other's needs and goals for the divorce process so that they can feel safe about moving forward with their lives after the divorce is finalized. Tip #3 - There are many different things you need to know before getting divorced. Divorce is a legal process that can be complex and time-consuming. It is essential to know what you're entitled to and whether it's worth fighting for. You need to know the rules and regulations for your state, which vary nationwide. For example, some states have "no-fault divorces," meaning no one needs to prove why they want out of their marriage; others require one spouse (usually the husband) to prove that another party (usually his wife) has done something wrong such as adultery or abuse before granting him/her permission. Net net, divorce is a complex process and certainly not a cake walk, but it can be easier to know what to expect and have the right support once you educate yourself. If you're going through a divorce, ensure you have all the resources available to help you and if you’re not sure you do, ask people who’ve been through it and people who you trust. Of course, you can also read our new, updated DD book/audiobook, Divorcee Dish TWO for important tips, support, true stories and a lot that’s guaranteed to tickle your funny bone when you need it most! Take care, Erin

If you're single, your dating options may be limited. You might live in a small town or work too much to meet people outside the office…or whatever. A million reasons. Perhaps you've tried online dating – for god’s sake, who hasn’t?! - but felt you need more. I get it, as does everyone else struggling with their “love life”(note the sarcastic clause quotes). So here are a few of my ideas for ways to tap into your local community if it seems like there aren't many single people around (and there are): 1) You're looking for someone to date but only have a few options? The problem is that your dating pool blows. Why? Because there aren't many people in it who are interested in you. The reasons: · They might be looking for something different than what you're offering (e.g., they are not interested in having kids) · They've already found someone who meets their needs better than you and would focus on that relationship instead of seeing another person to date when they're happy with the one they've got now (or vice versa). 2) The second reason your dating app options suck is that everyone else has already found someone, and those people might not even live nearby! You may also find yourself stuck between two groups: Those willing to meet up face-to-face right away vs. those who insist on keeping things strictly digital until later when things feel comfier and cozy between them both emotionally. 3) How to get over your dating app frustrations: When your dating pool options suck (I hate that word, but it works here, it's easy to get frustrated and want to throw in the towel. But if you take a break from the app and go out with friends or family, you'll find plenty of people who would love to meet someone like you. Yes, YOU. Plus, it'll help give you some perspective on what makes for a suitable date versus just having fun with someone who doesn't necessarily want something serious. If all else fails, try making some new friends instead of dating them right away--there's nothing wrong with being single! You might even discover that hanging out with others can be more fulfilling than trying to find a romantic partner at this point (or maybe it won't). Either way: don't give up hope just yet! Your assignment today: · Find a friend to go out with you · Go somewhere where you can meet people · Go somewhere you enjoy and feel comfortable, like an art museum or a bookstore. · Don't be afraid of rejection! If someone doesn't like you back, it's not the end of the world--they're not your type! Try again tomorrow with someone else who might appreciate what makes YOU so unique (and vice versa) Net net, getting out of your comfort zone can be challenging, especially when your dating life is going nowhere. But trust me, if you put yourself out there and go out more often, you will meet people looking for a relationship like yours! I have heard from friends that their experiences changed once they stopped focusing on online dating and started going out more often with friends or family members instead (or both). Until next time Dishers, Erin

It's all about attention, right? We crave it, we need it, and we want to feel understood by others, especially during a traumatic time such as a divorce. But what if no one is paying attention? This is a very frustrating problem, especially when the person who doesn't seem to care about you is the only person that matters (in your mind). You could write off this situation as trivial or meaningless, but there are profound psychological implications of being ignored. It's hard to be ignored & it's nearly impossible not to want to be validated by others. You're probably thinking, "This guy/girl is an idiot. I don't need validation." You don't need it? Really? Can you honestly say that you have never wanted to be validated, heard or understood? If so, then let me ask again: do you really not need validation? Because we all crave attention. Period. And when we don't get it from friends and family members who love us unconditionally (because they should), we look for other sources of attention like social media platforms where we can post pictures of ourselves looking good and getting lots of likes. Or maybe even Instagram, where our carefully crafted photos can get thousands of views in just one day. But be careful because that is NOT REAL LIFE. We want people to notice how great our lives are because they are extraordinary (or a mess, depending on the day), and if they don't, cut them out (it is too toxic). Some people think that they are so good at ignoring you, but they're being rude (i.e., assholes, bitches, or other words you may call people) If you feel someone ignores you and makes you uncomfortable, that's not their fault. They are just being inconsiderate. That's right! The person who doesn't show attention to others has no idea what they are doing and how it affects people around them. They consciously or unconsciously don't care about other people's feelings or needs because they're too busy thinking about themselves and what they want in life…which is fine. But not necessarily for you. When it comes down to basic human interaction with other humans (especially ones who have been around for longer than five minutes), there should be some common courtesy acknowledged by all parties involved so everyone feels respected and valued by each other. Ignoring another person isn't OK because “it happens all the time.” If someone ignores another person intentionally, then there should be consequences for such actions beyond just being called rude names online or having angry tweets directed towards them for days on end after an event where something happened between two people who barely knew each other existed, but still managed somehow over time through sheer coincidence alone - despite both parties never interacting again after this incident occurred - which would mean technically speaking if one were genuinely concerned with how others felt then wouldn't one seek out opportunities. Wordy, yes. Make sense? Yes. You deserve to feel understood. You have the right to be heard. You have the right to be understood, and you deserve to feel validated. You can ask questions and expect them to be answered honestly, or at least not with an excuse or a lie. You can say what you think and feel without being dismissed or judged as crazy or irrational (unless it's crazy or unreasonable). You can expect someone who cares for you to accept your quirks and embrace them as part of you (and they) are. When you're craving attention, it can feel like no one understands. But the truth is that we all have these moments. The key is learning how to cope with them healthily so they don't become a problem. You go, attention-getters! Erin Let's Dish: Don't worry about your craving for attention - write your fears down: Who and why have the people you are craving attention to ignore you? If they ignore you, in turn, ignore them back - think about what you can do instead of worrying about them not getting back to you.

Sex talk is never easy. But when you're ready to have sex, and you know it, you can't wait any longer. So here are some ways to help get it on: · Ensuring your partner is on board with the whole thing is essential if you're in a relationship. If they aren't, that's fine…you can still do it yourself (swear). But if they are, then get ready for some serious fun! · Ensure you have discussed what sex toys or accessories you want to use together so neither party feels their desires are being ignored or dismissed. · Discuss how often and how long each session should last; this will help keep things from getting boring or repetitive as time goes by (it's also helpful when deciding whether something needs replacing). · Agree upon rules regarding safe words/gestures/signals: some people prefer using signal lights instead of words because they feel less threatening; others may want something more explicit such as "red light" vs. "yellow light" vs. "green light." Whatever works best for both partners should be used here. Don’t forget about eye contact! When you're looking for sex, it can be hard to know where to start. Do you reach out to friends? Friends of friends? Strangers? Online dating apps? Hookup apps? Adult dating sites? Or maybe someone in your life has been flirting with you and making subtle advances in your relationship. Perhaps a coworker who wants more than just friendship but hasn't yet made their intentions known? Nevertheless, it doesn't matter what kind of relationship they have with you. If they're interested in having sex (or something else) with you, it will happen! Do you have a partner? · If you have a partner, have sex with them, end of story, period! · If not, it might be time for some introspection. You might be single because of your choice (you're busy with work or school) or because no one wants to spend time with you (maybe they think your personality is too much). But if neither of these things feels true for you, then it's time to start thinking about what else could be holding back your love life from being better than it is now. Try getting out more. Or even going on dates? When you want sex, there are many ways to get it. Be bold and ask a friend if they are up for it. Go to a bar and see if anyone strikes your fancy. Or maybe you've got an app on your phone where people post pictures of themselves in various stages of undress and invite strangers over for sex ((Tinder, Grindr, you name it…booty call central!). You could go to a sex club where tons of people are also looking for some action or even just one person. The possibilities are endless, but of course, this goes without saying, but I will anyway: stay safe and sound. Now that you know all the different ways to reach out for sex, it's time to go out there and make it happen! You don't need a partner or phone number; you only need yourself and an internet connection. So do what feels suitable for your body today and remember: Nobody else's opinion matters regarding what makes us feel good in bed. Get them! Erin

The first time I wrote a love letter, I was 14 years old. It was to my boyfriend at the time, it was giddy and fun, and we talked further. The words that came out of my mouth were trustworthy and honest, and he responded with a mixed tape! It was a great experience, and we remain friends to this day. So here I am 30 years later, writing this article about why you should write and share your love letters with people around you... even if they may never talk to you again or do not feel the same. And here’s the biggest question: How do you say I love you to someone in a letter? To write a love letter, you need to be honest. Be brave and put your heart on the page. Be yourself, even if it feels awkward or scary. The best way to tell someone how much you care about them is by being vulnerable and opening up about how they make you think whether joyous, sad, or somewhere in between. Love letters are a great way to express your feelings but can be scary and nerve-wracking. You may be worried about being vulnerable and being rejected. You might also be afraid that the other person will judge you or think less of you for saying what's in your heart. Another reason people are scared to share their feelings is that they don't know how to say what they want to say without coming across as cheesy or awkward…and this fear may lead him/her away from expressing themselves entirely and honestly. So…Have you written a love letter before? Do you remember how it felt to write that first draft and then give it to the person for whom it was intended? The excitement of sending your thoughts into the world is exhilarating. You feel vulnerable but also courageous in your vulnerability. But what if there's more than one person involved? How do you decide which person gets his/her letter and which one gets part of another (or even all)? And what happens when they both want their separate letters from you? Is this even possible? OMG, here we go: · What happened after you shared your feelings in the letter? · The person responded by saying they loved you too. · The person said they were happy to hear from you. · The person was surprised to hear from you.? · The person was angry that you wrote the letter, cut off contact with you, or didn't respond. (In my case, it caused the sounds of silence. Which is rude, out of character, and makes me think this person must be high or just downright disrespectful). · It's important to say what you mean, even if it feels scary. You don't have to worry about what will happen next or whether the other person will reject you. Love is worth the risk. · You may not know how they feel about you yet, but it doesn't matter: Your words mean so much regardless of what happens next. I hope this blog inspires you to write a love letter, no matter your fear or excitement. Your words mean so much to you AND the recipient, regardless of what happens next. From my experience long ago, II know it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It changed my life forever, not necessarily for the best, but by the reaction. For better or worse, go there; you'll know where you stand, whether you find happiness or disappointment. Xo, Erin

Sparks are the first signs of attraction and can be easily confused with love. Sparks fly when you meet someone truly compatible with you. Sparks fly when you feel like you've known them forever or when they remind you of someone else. Most people have experienced sparks at one point or another, but there's no way to predict whether those sparks will lead to a long-lasting relationship or fade away after a few weeks or months. When you meet someone, and it's like you've known them forever, your souls recognize each other. The feeling of recognition is so strong that it feels like you've learned this person your whole life. You feel like they understand everything about who you are and what makes sense to do in the world, no matter how crazy or out of the ordinary it might seem to others. When sparks fly between two people who aren't romantically involved (like friends or coworkers), there can be an intense desire for closeness between them--to be together all the time, maybe even move into a house together! This kind of closeness comes from having similar values or beliefs about life; sharing similar interests; liking each other's company so much that being apart feels wrong; being able to talk openly about anything without judgment from either side... You feel like you've known this person forever. It's a feeling that can't be explained, but it's there. You feel like you've known this person forever. You feel like they are easy to talk to, and they know exactly what to say when you need it most. It might be because they have a similar background or sense of humor as you do, but whatever the reason is, sparks will fly, and your relationship will take off like wildfire! It's a rush of adrenaline that comes from attraction. The feeling of attraction is a rush of adrenaline from your body's natural fight-or-flight response. It's the same reason you feel excited when you see a wild animal on the safari, but in this case, it's caused by another human being. When sparks fly: Your heart beats faster, and your stomach gets butterflies (or whatever animal metaphor you prefer). You start to feel happy and excited around them, even if they're not doing anything special! You get an urge to talk to them more often than usual because you want more time with them--and maybe even some alone time with them too! You know your other half is compatible with you when: You have a similar goal and vision for your future. If both partners work toward the same goals, that's a great start. Your values and beliefs align with each other's. It's essential to be on the same page about what you want out of life so that there aren't any surprises in store down the road! Both partners want the same things in life. If you have a deep connection with someone, you likely feel you can tell them anything. You might also feel like you have known them forever or that they are your best friend. You may even trust them completely--even though this is a new person in your life! This is because of how strong the connection between you is; it's almost like magic! If this sounds familiar, then congratulations: sparks are flying! When sparks fly between two people, they often say, "We just have so much in common!" or "I could talk to this person for hours!" This is because when we connect with someone on a deep level, we become closer as friends and partners; our lives become intertwined in ways that weren't possible before meeting each other. We hope you've found some insight into what it feels like to connect with someone. It's a fantastic feeling that can't be described with words alone, but we tried our best! If you want to know more about what sparks fly between two people, check out our blog post on telling if someone is attracted to you. May your connections spark a fire! Erin Time to Dish: Have you recently connected with someone? Is it like you have known them forever? How did you meet? Isn't it the best feeling in the world?

Dating is a strange experience. It can be exciting, nerve-wracking, and even disappointing. But the most important thing to remember when dating someone new is knowing what you want from your relationship. If you are still determining what you want, how will anyone else? Here are some things to consider before settling into another partnership: If you're trying to find out what kind of person you want, here are some things to think about: Loyalty and honesty. Your next partner should be someone who has your back and won't betray your trust. Shared values. You need a partner who shares some of the same values as you do--it's crucial to maintain a healthy relationship! Faithfulness (or lack thereof). Do they have an active sex life? Are they monogamous? Do they have a history of cheating on partners or being cheated on themselves? These questions can help determine whether someone suits you...or not! What qualities do you look for in a man or woman? Honest Fun Considerate Kind Intelligent and exciting to talk with, but not necessarily book smart (this is important). Loyal to family and friends, but not necessarily loyal only to one person consistently. You may be surprised to learn that most people are not emotionally available. They're often busy, stressed out, or just plain tired of being a grown-up. So, do you want someone to make time for you and listen without judging or criticizing? That's more challenging to find. And then there's communication: good communicators tend to be good listeners, too--but again, this is only sometimes true! Some people love talking about themselves but aren't interested in hearing what anyone else has to say; they might even get defensive when someone tries telling them something important about themselves (as if they don't already know). And while some people are great at communicating their feelings openly and honestly...others might have trouble saying precisely what they're thinking or feeling because it makes them feel vulnerable (which is normal). Do they need to have been married before? or not? If you have been married before, then your expectations are probably higher than if you haven't. You know what it feels like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't do everything you want them to do. You know how important honesty and trustworthiness are for a long-term partnership and are looking for someone who shares those values with you. If this is your first time around the block regarding relationships, your expectations aren't so high—or they are! Either way, it's safe to say that most people want kindhearted partners who will treat them well. Do they need to have kids or not? It's not a deal breaker, but it's a plus. Many people think having kids is one of the most essential things in a relationship. But if you don't have them yourself and your partner doesn't, it shouldn't be a problem! It may be an issue for some people. If you want children and your partner doesn't, this could be an issue for both of you--and vice versa! It depends on how strongly each person feels about the topic (and whether they're open to discussing it). It's important to know what you want in your next relationship. You don't want to waste time with someone who isn't going to fulfill your needs or make you happy. Take time and think about what qualities are most essential for you to be a partner. Then, find someone who matches those criteria! Happy searching, Erin Time to Dish: What are your standards? Do you make sure to stick to them? or do you settle? No one is perfect, are you able to look beyond the small things?

Being a single parent is a challenge, but it doesn't have to make you feel guilty or add to exhaustion. If you're looking for fun and easy ways to keep your child entertained without breaking the bank or wearing yourself out, check out these five activities that are just right. 1. Read a book together Reading a book is a great way to spend time with and bond with your kids. It's also an excellent activity for you to do by yourself, if you have some free time during the day or evening, as it can help pass the time. Reading together will help improve your child's reading skills by forcing them to pay attention and follow along as they read aloud together. The more often this happens, the better they'll get at it! 2. Build something together This could be as simple as building a fort in your backyard or as elaborate as a tree house that takes weeks of work and planning. If you're feeling ambitious, try making a model car or airplane with your child--it's great bonding time and can become something they cherish for years to come. 3. Take the dog for a walk to the park If you have a dog, they likely enjoy being outside and going on walks. So why not take them to the park? Many parks in your area allow dogs, so find one nearby and go there! The kids will also love seeing other people with their pets (and maybe even get some ideas for their next pet). If you haven't taken your kids to a dog park yet, this is also an option-- make sure there are no signs saying "no children allowed" before entering. 4. Plan a picnic at home, make sandwiches, pick a healthy side, and sneak in a surprise. Sandwiches are an excellent choice for a picnic at home. They're easy to make and can be healthy, too! Use different breads and fillings, or add some fruit to make it more nutritious. You can make sandwiches fun for kids by adding different spreads or toppings--like peanut butter, jelly, mayonnaise (which might not be very healthy), mustard--whatever your kids like best! 5. Play games like UNO or Scrabble together UNO is a card game that can be played with younger kids, while Scrabble is a board game that can be played with older children. Both games are relatively easy to learn but require some strategy and thoughtfulness. You'll want to choose the correct version of your chosen game for the ages of your kids: if you have younger ones who have trouble reading, stick with UNO; if you have older ones who can read well and understand abstract concepts like "X" or "Y," then go ahead and try out Scrabble! This article has encouraged you to get out and do something with your kids. It doesn't have to be complicated or expensive; make sure you spend time together as a family! Cheers, Erin Time to Dish: What are some light and easy activities you play with your kids? When they ask for you to entertain them, how do you react? What are you feeling when it’s that time to stop and focus on your kiddos?

Divorce is a term thrown around lightly, and it can be frustrating if you don't feel like you're in a situation where you should be divorced. However, being a divorcee has some perks that no one ever tells you about, such as: Divorcees have more downtime. You are not responsible for anyone else except you (and your kids, if you’re a parent). You have more time to do the things that you enjoy. You have more time to do the things that you want to do. You can date as many people as you want! And without worrying about hurting anyone's feelings. You can be more open about what you want, don't like, and what you're looking for in a partner. Dating for fun is different than dating to have children. But here’s a reality check: If you're a single parent, it's easy to feel pressure from your partner or other people to settle down and start a family. If you're not ready yet or don't want kids, this kind of pressure can be frustrating and even emotionally draining. You must know what you want before committing yourself fully; otherwise, it can lead to resentment in your relationship. Also, now that you’re single you have more time on their hands than married couples do as you don't have children or partners who need attention 24/7! This means that singles can date as many people as they like without feeling guilty about spending time apart from their significant others (or lack thereof). Single people also tend to be more selective when choosing potential mates because there aren't any kids involved yet, so if something doesn't feel right during the first few dates, no worries! You're free, free falling. Free yourself from worry and meet new people. Divorced people have a lot of freedom and flexibility, which allows them to do things that married people might not be able to. For example, go ahead if you're divorced and want to vacation with your best friend for two weeks in Europe or Asia! You don't have kids at home that need your attention 24/7 when you have joint custody. If your ex is on board with it and wants time off from parenting, go ahead! Some divorcees also don't have any worries about having kids together anymore. They've already split up, so there's no chance of having another child together. Period. Remind yourself that being single is a good thing. It's easy to forget that being single is a good thing. You might have been in a relationship for a long time and had gotten used to having someone around, but now that they're gone, you have time. Single people are also more likely to do things they want because they don't have anyone else with an opinion about it (or at least not as much). If two people were deciding where we wanted dinner or what movie we should watch, there would always be disagreements about where/what we should do. As a result of this lack of decision-making power, many divorced people decide that they need more skills so that when their next relationship comes along (or even if it doesn't), they can bring something valuable with them into the new partnership. Meeting new people isn't scary. When there isn't another person, depending on whether this new friend becomes part of your life, you can go out and meet some folks without worrying about whether they will like them enough for all parties involved! Divorcees should remember that they are free to do as they please. They can date whomever they want, go on trips whenever they want, and even sleep with whomever they want. It's a great feeling to know that no one will judge you for being single because it means there is more time for fun! Enjoy yourselves, Erin

I know from experience that letting go of a toxic relationship is not easy. I've been there and know how hard it can be to realize that you're better off without someone who doesn't deserve your love. But here's the thing: if you let yourself regret ending something terrible, you give them power over your life. And that's just not fair or healthy for anyone. So instead of looking back with regret (and wishing things had been different), let yourself celebrate how much healthier and happier you feel now that you're away from an unhealthy relationship or situation. Here’s how: Have zero regrets about your divorce. Divorce can be a good thing in most circumstances. It's not the end of your life, and it certainly won't be an easy process, but it will make you happier in the long run. You'll be able to move on and may find someone better suited for you than your ex-spouse. Your kids will also benefit from having their family shaken up because they can finally get the attention they need from both parents instead of just one parent all the time (or none). So, from where I’m standing, there are no regrets associated with divorce. Have no regrets about ending toxic relationships. I’m not saying you should make a hasty decision to end a relationship, but once you have decided and broken it off, ditch any regrets. When we are in toxic relationships, we often think back on how good things used to be when we were happy together. We think about what could have been if this person or I had changed... but now it's too late! And yet, sometimes those thoughts lead us down paths of regret: "I wish I hadn't ended things with him/her." "What if he/she comes back?" "Maybe things would be different now?" It's important not to let yourself get caught up in these thoughts because they will keep your heart open for more hurt and pain by reminding yourself just how badly things went down. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the past, forgive yourself for your mistakes, forgive yourself for your failures and insecurities. Forgive yourself for your fears and shortcomings. You are human and will make mistakes, but that doesn't mean you're a failure or worthless person because of them. Be kind. Please be sure to practice kindness towards yourself. Kindness is the practice of treating others well, but it can also be a powerful tool for self-care. We feel better about ourselves and our circumstances when we treat ourselves with kindness and respect. This leads to improved health, happiness, and productivity in all areas of life. And, of course, practice kindness towards others: Make time for people who make you happy; give compliments freely; help those in need; ask "How are you?" not "What do you want?". Time to Dish: 1) Do you feel regret? If so, why? 2) Do you want to feel better about a past or current situation? How will you help yourself do this? 3) Do you practice kindness towards others and yourself? 4) What is making you the happiest right now? Until next time, treat yourself well with no regrets, Erin