1. Understanding the Importance of Patience: Patience is not just about waiting but also about cultivating self-awareness, growth, and emotional stability. When we rush into relationships without giving ourselves time to truly understand our wants and needs, we may unintentionally set ourselves up for disappointment and heartbreak. By embracing patience, we allow ourselves the space and time to discover what we seek in a partner. 2. Trusting the Process: Waiting for the right relationship means trusting the process of life. It involves understanding that everything happens for a reason and that there is a perfect timing. We often compare our love lives to others, feeling pressured by societal norms. However, it's crucial to remember that our journeys are unique, and rushing into a relationship out of external pressure can lead to an unsatisfying experience. Trusting that the right person will come when we are ready is a powerful mindset that allows us to stay grounded and confident in our quest for true love. 3. Developing a Healthy Relationship with Oneself: During our waiting period, focusing on self-love and personal growth is essential. This is a valuable time to invest in ourselves, explore our passions, cultivate hobbies, and further our education. By nurturing a healthy relationship with us, we become more self-aware and better equipped to recognize the qualities we desire in a partner. Patience allows us to become the best version of ourselves, thus attracting a partner who resonates with who we genuinely are. 4. Navigating the Dating World: While waiting for the right relationship, it's common to engage in dating experiences. However, it's essential to be mindful of not settling for something less than ideal. Each dating experience can be a learning opportunity, offering insight into our preferences and deal-breakers. Patience allows us to maintain a positive mindset, even if it takes longer to find the right person. Remember, quality often takes time, and settling for less can prevent us from experiencing the fulfilling relationship we deserve. Patience is a valuable attribute to cultivate when it comes to relationships. Waiting for the right relationship is not about passively staying idle but actively growing and evolving as individuals while remaining open to new possibilities. By practicing patience and taking the time to understand ourselves better, we set the stage for a meaningful and fulfilling connection. So, let us embrace patience in our search for love, trusting that it will be worth the wait when the right person comes along. As Tom Petty said: “Waiting is the hardest part” – It’s true; whenever you think you have it right, you may realize you do not. So many indecencies must happen to make a relationship work. Amazingly, sometimes they do. Hold on tight, and It’s a wild adventure. Xoxo, Erin Time to dish: · If you are with someone, how long does it take? · How do you determine which is best if you are dating many people? · How do you settle down? · Is it ok to feel uncertain? YES, state why…..

As we always mention, divorce is undoubtedly a challenging experience, as it brings significant changes and responsibilities into our lives. One may find themselves navigating through emotional, financial, and practical adjustments. Among these new responsibilities is the seemingly mundane task of changing a light bulb. However, for many who have gone through a divorce, this simple act can symbolize a more significant shift in their lives - the realization that they are solely responsible for caring for themselves and their surroundings. In this blog post, I will delve into the symbolic significance of changing a light bulb after divorce and explore the personal growth and empowerment that can emerge from this process. 1. Accepting Change and Moving Forward: After a divorce, it's crucial to acknowledge that the household dynamics have changed. This includes accepting that the shared responsibilities that once fell under the purview of both partners now solely rest on one's shoulders. While it may seem like a small task, changing a light bulb can be poignant when one embraces this newfound reality. 2. Taking Ownership and Empowerment: Changing a light bulb can help individuals reclaim their power amid the emotional turmoil that often accompanies divorce. It represents a symbolic initiation into the mindset of self-reliance and the acknowledgment that they can care for themselves and their own space. 3. A Journey of Self-Discovery: Divorce forces individuals to reevaluate their priorities, rediscover themselves, and redefine their identity outside of the context of partnership. Changing a light bulb post-divorce can catalyze personal growth and self-discovery. It allows individuals to reflect on their resilience and resourcefulness, fostering a sense of independence that can contribute to a stronger self-image. 4. The Ripple Effect: Changing a light bulb may seem insignificant at first glance, but it can profoundly impact one's mindset. It can inspire individuals to tackle other challenges head-on and embrace new opportunities. Individuals regain confidence and build a solid foundation for their new life by taking control of their immediate surroundings. Changing a light bulb after a divorce may seem mundane, but its symbolic weight carries profound implications. It is a powerful reminder of the individual's resilience, independence, and personal growth. Embracing these newfound responsibilities can lead to a stronger sense of self and the ability to navigate life's journey post-divorce with courage and determination. So next time you find yourself standing on a chair, twisting a new light bulb into place, remember - you've got this. You can do this! Xoxo, Erin Time to Dish: · Have you cried just thinking of changing a light bulb? · Did you accomplish the task? · How did it feel? · You know you can do this – keep a strong mindset and write down how you can.

Relationships can be complicated. I wish I could say it is easy, but not always. Sometimes, we may find ourselves in a situation where we genuinely like someone but are unsure if we are indeed in love with them. Expressing this sentiment to the other person can be challenging, but it is essential for honesty and transparency in any relationship. Before approaching the other person, take the time to reflect on your emotions. Analyze whether the feelings you feel towards the person are solely based on liking them or if there could be potential for love to develop over time. Be honest with yourself and evaluate what you truly want from a relationship. Deciding where and when to have this conversation is crucial. Opt for a private and comfortable setting to talk openly without interruptions. Finding an appropriate location will help create a relaxed atmosphere, making it easier for both parties to express themselves honestly. When discussing your feelings, it is essential to be transparent and honest. Clearly state that you like the person and appreciate their presence in your life, but explain that you do not feel a deep romantic love towards them. Communicating your emotions will help avoid misunderstandings and false expectations. Using "I" statements to express your emotions is helpful to prevent the other person from feeling attacked or rejected. For example, instead of saying, "You're not someone I can love,” say, "I have realized that I am not in love with you." Using "I" statements, you take responsibility for your feelings without blaming others. Expressing your lack of romantic love towards someone may be difficult for them to hear. Show empathy and compassion for their feelings by acknowledging that this conversation may be challenging for both of you. Assure them that it does not reflect their worth as a person. After this conversation, giving the other person time and space to process their emotions is essential. Understand that they may need distance and may not want to continue the relationship as it was before. Respect their boundaries and allow them to decide what is best for themselves. After expressing your feelings, supporting the other person's emotions is essential. Be there for them as a friend and provide a listening ear if they want to talk about their feelings or concerns. Show kindness and understanding as they navigate their emotional journey. Remember, it is okay to like someone without being in love with them. Honesty and open communication are vital in any relationship, and by expressing your feelings sensitively, you can maintain respect and preserve the foundation of your bond.

We often find ourselves in situations where we feel ignored or neglected by someone, whether a friend, a colleague, or even a romantic partner. We are navigating to understand why men or women may forget us and thoughts on how to reach out and address the situation respectfully and assertively. Otherwise, we think WTF is wrong with these people. Understanding the Reasons: 1. Communication Gap: Miscommunication or lack of effective communication can lead to misunderstandings and unintentional ignorance. It is vital to give the other person the benefit of the doubt and consider possible communication gaps before jumping to conclusions. 2. Personal Issues: Everyone has struggles and challenges that might make them withdrawn or preoccupied. It's essential to be empathetic and considerate, understanding that their behavior might not reflect their opinion of you. 3. Emotional Triggers: Sometimes, our actions or words may unintentionally trigger negative emotions in others, causing them to pull away. It's crucial to be aware of our behavior and its impact on others, making sure to apologize and make amends if needed. When reaching out, consider this: · Self-reflection: Before reaching out, take the time to reflect on the situation and your feelings. Understand what you hope to achieve and whether the relationship is worth salvaging. This will help you approach the conversation with clarity and focus. · Choose the right time and place: Find a suitable moment and location to initiate a conversation. Choose a neutral environment that allows for open and honest communication. · Express your concerns openly and calmly: Voice your feelings and concerns without being accusatory or defensive. Use "I" statements to express how their behavior made you feel, emphasizing that you seek understanding and resolution. · Active listening: While engaging in the conversation, actively listen and validate the other person's perspective. This will encourage a healthy dialogue and demonstrate your willingness to understand their point of view. · Seek common ground and compromise: Look for common ground and areas of agreement to bridge the gap. Propose mutually acceptable solutions or means to help move the relationship forward positively. · Patience and acceptance: Not all relationships or connections can be salvaged. Accepting the outcome is essential, even if it's not what you hoped for. Please recognize that you have tried to express your concerns, and now it's up to the other person to reciprocate. It can be disheartening to experience being ignored by someone, regardless of their gender. However, by understanding the reasons behind their behavior and taking proactive steps to reach out, it is possible to mend relationships and foster healthier connections. Effective communication, empathy, and mutual respect are crucial to overcoming misunderstandings and rebuilding relationships. You know what we are saying today if you have been completely ignored. It’s a terrible feeling, and you need to consider whether these people deserve your attention. Be strong, even when you feel like you cannot, Erin Time to Dish: · Have you had an experience where someone cuts you off? · How did that make you feel? · Why do you think this person does this? · Everyone has challenges; however, not communicating is not an answer; what do you suggest someone does?

In life, it is all too easy to overlook the positive aspects. We often focus on stress, problems, and what's lacking rather than acknowledging what we must be grateful for. This is where gratitude journals come in - a simple but powerful tool that can transform our mindset and bring happiness and fulfillment. Create a Gratitude Journal: At its core, a gratitude journal is where you can regularly write down what you are grateful for. It can be as simple as a dedicated notebook or a digital journaling app on your phone. The key is to make it a consistent practice and commit to writing in it regularly. The concept behind gratitude journals is rooted in the principles of positive psychology. By consciously focusing on what we are grateful for, we shift our attention away from negativity and reframe our mindset towards a more positive outlook. Practicing gratitude helps us cultivate a sense of contentment and appreciation, even amid life's challenges. Keeping Up with a Gratitude Journal: Keeping a gratitude journal has numerous benefits that can improve both our mental and physical well-being: 1. Increased Happiness Expressing gratitude regularly helps us to savor the positive experiences and moments in our lives. By acknowledging these moments, we cultivate a more profound sense of happiness and fulfillment. 2. Reduced Stress and Anxiety Gratitude is a powerful stress reducer. It helps us shift our focus away from the negative aspects of our lives and onto the positive, which can help reduce anxiety and improve overall mental well-being. 3. Improved Relationships Expressing gratitude towards others in our journal can strengthen our relationships. It helps us recognize and appreciate the people who support and uplift us, leading to deeper connections and increased feelings of social support. 4. Better Sleep Taking a few moments to write in a gratitude journal before bed can promote better sleep. By focusing on positive experiences and feelings, we can quiet our minds and enter a state of relaxation that can aid in falling asleep faster and experiencing more restful sleep. 5. Enhanced Resilience Maintaining a gratitude journal can build resilience by reframing how we perceive challenges and setbacks. By focusing on the positive aspects of our lives, we foster a mindset that allows us to bounce back from adversity more quickly. Tips for Starting and Keeping a Gratitude Journal Starting a gratitude journal is simple, but maintaining the practice can be more challenging. Here are some tips to help you make the most of your gratitude journal: Set aside a specific time each day to write in your journal. Be consistent and commit to writing in your journal regularly. Focus on the details - write down specific things you are grateful for rather than generic statements. Be genuine and heartfelt in your expressions of gratitude. Consider including a mix of big and small things you are thankful for. Don't limit yourself to just writing - you can also include drawings, photographs, or other creative expressions. Reflect on past entries to remind yourself of what you must be grateful for. Why not start your gratitude journal today and experience the transformative power of gratitude? Xoxo Erin I will start I am so very thankful for the Divorcee Dish Community 

In today's fast-paced digital world, intimate relationships have become entwined with technology. With various communication channels at our fingertips, it's common to encounter the dilemma of whether to text or call a potential love interest. The simple phrase, "I will text you later" or "call you later," carries more weight than we may initially anticipate. The Significance of Texting: Texting has undeniably become the preferred mode of communication for many people. It offers convenience, allows for carefully crafted messages, and provides a sense of control over the conversation. Text sending can create anticipation while allowing recipients to respond at their own pace. Texting is famous for casual discussions, sharing information, or organizing plans. The Power of a Phone Call: While texting is convenient, a phone call has its unique advantages. Hearing someone's voice adds a personal touch and allows for a more immediate and meaningful connection. Phone calls enable a deeper level of communication, as voice tone and inflections provide valuable cues that may not be apparent through text. Furthermore, a phone call demonstrates higher interest and effort than a simple text message. Understanding the Context: When deciding whether to text or call someone, it's crucial to consider the context. Are you establishing the initial connection, making plans, or discussing something important? The choice may depend on the stage of the relationship and the level of comfort established. If you are still getting to know each other, texting might be more appropriate, allowing both parties to exchange messages and build a foundation comfortably. However, a phone call can be invaluable to deepen the connection or have a more meaningful conversation. Balancing Preferences: It's essential to recognize that everyone has different communication preferences. Some people may prefer the ease and indirectness of texting, while others may crave the personal touch of a phone call. Understanding and respecting these preferences is crucial for building a healthy and effective means of communication in any potential relationship. If in doubt, it's best to have an open conversation about how both parties prefer to communicate. The Middle Ground: Voice and Text Combined: Recognizing that texting and calling have their merits, they need not be mutually exclusive. Balancing both forms of communication can be a healthy approach. For instance, you can start a conversation with a text message and, if it evolves into something more profound, suggest transitioning to a phone call to delve into the topic further. This way, you can combine the convenience and thoughtfulness of texting with the emotional connection fostered by a phone call. The "I will text you later" versus "call you later" dilemma is significant in modern dating and relationships. While texting offers convenience and control, a phone call adds a personal touch and deeper connection. Understanding the context, respecting individual preferences, and balancing texting and calling can help foster effective communication and nurture potential relationships. Open communication and consideration for one another's preferences will be vital in navigating this aspect of modern romance. However, we think this issue leads to a too-casual aspect of dating. ie What if the do not next or call????? Erin Time to Dish: In your current or past relationship, was it text or phone-based? How did it develop? Did they follow through? Word for word, when someone says they are going to do something - do you feel disrespected if they do not?

When a marriage ends, two legal options are available to dissolve the marriage: annulment and divorce. While both options end the marital relationship, there are significant differences between annulment and divorce. This blog will explore the differences and why someone may choose one. Annulment An annulment, a declaration of nullity, is a legal process that declares a marriage null and void. When a marriage is annulled, it is as if it never happened. In other words, it is a legal recognition that the marriage was never legally valid. An annulment can only be granted under specific circumstances, which vary by state but often include: 1. Fraud or misrepresentation: One or both parties entered the marriage based on false information or misrepresentations. 2. Lack of consent: One or both parties were forced into the marriage, unable to consent due to mental incapacity, or too young to marry legally. 3. Impotence: One party was physically incapable of consummating the marriage. 4. Bigamy: One or both parties were legally married when the marriage was annulled. Divorce On the other hand, a divorce is the legal dissolution of a valid marriage. Divorce terminates the marital relationship and divides assets and debts between the parties. A divorce can only be granted on the grounds of irreconcilable differences, which means that the marriage has broken down to the point that it cannot be saved. In some states, divorce can also be granted on the grounds of fault, such as adultery, abandonment, or cruelty. The Differences The main difference between annulment and divorce is that an annulment essentially voids the marriage, while divorce dissolves a valid marriage. Another significant difference is the requirements for proving eligibility for each legal action. To request an annulment, a petitioner must prove that one of the specific grounds is present. For a divorce, generally, only irreconcilable differences need to be confirmed. Why Choose Annulment Over Divorce? There are several reasons someone may pursue an annulment instead of a divorce. One reason is that an annulment can often provide a sense of closure and may alleviate religious concerns about divorce. Additionally, a repeal can impact the ability to receive spousal support or divide assets and debts differently than a divorce. An annulment and divorce are two distinct legal processes for ending a marriage, with different requirements and outcomes. While both may involve emotional and financial consequences, understanding the differences can help individuals decide which option is correct. Make the Decision that is best for your situation. xoxo Erin Time to Dish: Was your marriage an annulment or divorce? Why did you choose one or the other? Do you feel you chose the right path?

In any relationship, trust is the foundation that holds everything together. The glue keeps two people bonded, cherishing their love, and growing together. However, when lies seep into that foundation, it can unravel the entire fabric of the relationship. Let’s explore the detrimental effects of liars in a relationship and guide how to handle these trust breakers. The Art of Deception: Lying within a relationship can take many forms - from small, seemingly harmless white lies to significant betrayals. Regardless of the magnitude, lies can erode the trust between partners and create a toxic environment. When one person chooses to deceive, it creates a power imbalance, fostering resentment, insecurity, and doubt. Consequences of Lying: The impact of lying in a relationship is far-reaching and often profound. The deceived partner might experience a loss of self-esteem, questioning their worthiness and attractiveness. Trust is fragile, and once broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Frequent lying may lead to emotional distance, resentment, and a relationship breakdown. Understanding the Reasons Behind the Deception: To address the issue of lying in a relationship, it is first essential to understand the deception's motivations. Liars often resort to dishonesty to avoid conflict, protect themselves, or maintain a false persona. Recognizing these underlying issues can help both partners navigate towards a healthier, more honest future. Open Communication is the key to healing: Rebuilding trust is a slow and delicate process, but it starts with open communication. The deceived partner must express their hurt, while the liar must take responsibility for their actions and show genuine remorse. Honesty should become the cornerstone of every conversation, and both partners must be willing to listen and understand each other's perspectives. Setting Boundaries: Open communication is necessary, but couples must also establish boundaries to prevent further breaches of trust. Discussing expectations and agreeing on acceptable behavior can help rebuild a sense of security. Limits can range from sharing passwords and accounts to seeking therapy to address underlying issues. Seeking Professional Help: Rebuilding trust after lies can be a long and challenging journey. Seeking the guidance of a professional therapist can provide valuable insight and strategies. A trained therapist can help couples navigate emotions, improve communication, and develop healthier behavior patterns. Forgiveness and Moving Forward: Forgiveness is not easy, but it is essential for the healing process. Both partners must be willing to forgive, while the liar needs to demonstrate genuine change through their actions. Rebuilding trust takes time, but with consistent effort, creating a stronger, more honest foundation is possible. Lying in a relationship can be devastating, but it doesn't have to be the end. With open communication, understanding, and a commitment to change, couples can work through the pain and rebuild trust. Remember, a relationship built on lies is fragile, but honesty and trust can withstand any storm. Be careful, and please be honest out there, Erin Time to Dish: Have you flat-out lied to your partner? Has your partner flat-out lied to you? How did this make you feel? Did you resolve this issue, or did you call it quits? If you stayed, how in the world did you build trust back?

When a relationship ends, it's natural to feel uncertain about love. However, the human heart has an incredible capacity to heal and to love again. Whether you're experiencing love for the first time after a divorce or a painful break-up, there are sure signs that can indicate you're falling in love again. This blog will explore these signs, helping you recognize and embrace the journey of rediscovering love. Emotional Openness: Being emotionally open is one of the surest signs of falling in love again. After a divorce or break-up, feeling guarded or even skeptical about new relationships is normal. However, when you find yourself willing to trust and open emotionally to someone new, it can signify that love is again blooming within you. Excitement and Anticipation: Have you noticed that you eagerly await to see or hear from someone special? Feeling excited and having a sense of anticipation about spending time with them strongly indicates that love may be knocking on your door. These feelings can reignite the spark and remind you of the joy of being in a loving relationship. Fear of Vulnerability: Although falling in love can be exhilarating, it also makes us vulnerable. If you fear vulnerability again, it's a sign that you may be in the early stages of falling in love. The fear of getting hurt is a natural response to past experiences. Overcoming this fear can lead you to new experiences and the possibility of a fulfilling relationship. Empathy and Compassion: Another sign of falling in love again is empathizing and feeling compassion towards another person's experiences and emotions. Love has a way of softening our hearts and igniting kindness within us. If you notice yourself genuinely caring for someone's well-being and being there for them, it may be a sign that love has resurfaced in your life. Inner Growth: Falling in love after a divorce or break-up often happens when we have undergone significant inner growth and self-reflection. When we have introspected our past relationships and learned from them, we become more self-aware and capable of making healthier choices moving forward. If you find yourself evolving and becoming more conscious of your desires, it's a promising sign that love is returning to your life. Rediscovering love after a divorce or break-up is both exciting and transformative. The signs we discussed - emotional openness, excitement, fear of vulnerability, empathy, compassion, and inner growth - serve as guideposts along this path. Remember, every person's experience of falling in love is unique, and it's essential to trust your intuition and listen to your heart. When the time is right, love will find its way back into your life, bringing the potential for a beautiful and fulfilling connection. Embrace the opportunity and allow yourself to experience the profound joy of falling in love again. Have fun out there, Erin Time to Dish: · Have you found love again? · How did you know? · What is love at first sight? · Or did this love develop over time? · Any tips you can share with our readers?

As the spouse of an alcoholic, life can be a rollercoaster ride. One minute, your partner may be loving and attentive; the next, they could stumble through the door, slurring their words and causing chaos. It's a challenging and emotional experience that can leave you feeling isolated, hopeless, and frustrated. But it's important to remember that you are not alone, and help is available. Living with an alcoholic partner can be incredibly challenging, both for themselves and for those around them. Not only can alcoholism take a physical and emotional toll on the individual, but it can also cause relationships to deteriorate and families to break apart. It can leave spouses feeling alone, helpless, and, at times, embarrassed about their partner's behavior. However, it's important to remember that alcoholism is a disease, and your spouse's actions are not entirely within their control. If you are married to an alcoholic, it's essential to understand that you have choices. You can choose to stay, you can choose to leave, or you can choose to seek help and support. Whatever decision you make, taking care of yourself and setting boundaries that will protect you emotionally and physically is essential. One of the most important things to remember is not to enable your partner's behavior. You should avoid covering up for them, making excuses, or trying to fix their problems. Helping only makes the situation worse by allowing your partner to continue drinking and avoiding the consequences of their actions. It's also essential to seek support for yourself. This may include contacting close friends or family members, joining a support group, or seeking therapy. While it may feel embarrassing or difficult to talk about your partner's alcoholism, your mental health needs to be able to vent and express your feelings with someone who understands. Additionally, consider seeking professional help for your partner. This may include attending therapy, joining a recovery program, or seeking treatment at a rehabilitation center. It's important to remember that while you may be supportive, ultimately, it is your partner's responsibility to decide to seek help and make changes. Living with an alcoholic partner is not easy, but it's important to remember that you are not alone. Many resources are available to help you navigate these difficult times, and taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is essential. Remember that you have choices and that seeking support and setting boundaries are crucial steps toward creating a healthy and happy life for yourself. Many groups offer support here are a couple: Al-Anon SAMHSA If you are suffering from an alcoholic spouse or partner, please seek help today. We need to keep you mentally safe and stable.

Do you ever need to scream break-up songs at the top of your lungs? If so, here is a new playlist for your favorite streaming app. Here are some of our Divorcee Dish favorites: · "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler · "Every Breath You Take" by The Police · "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston · "Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)" by Phil Collins · "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds · "Careless Whisper" by George Michael · "The Winner Takes It All" by ABBA · "Alone" by Heart2 · "Love Bites" by Def Leppard · "I Want to Know What Love Is" by Foreigner3 · "Someone Like You" by Adele · "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" by Taylor Swift · "Irreplaceable" by Beyoncé · "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson · "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake · "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston · "Don't Speak" by No Doubt · "Tears Dry On Their Own" by Amy Winehouse · "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye ft. Kimbra · "The Scientist" by Coldplay · "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis · "Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber · "Stay with Me" by Sam Smith · "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood · "We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey · "Thank U, Next" by Ariana Grande · "Forget You" by CeeLo Green · "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt · "I Hate You, I Love You" by gnash ft. Olivia O'Brien · "OOOUUU" by Young M.A. · "I'm Not the Only One" by Sam Smith · "In the End" by Linkin Park · "Gives You Hell" by The All-American Rejects · "Broken" by Lovelytheband · "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor · "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac · "Heart of Glass" by Blondie · "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon · "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" by Neil Sedaka · "I Can't Tell You Why" by Eagles · "Always on My Mind" by Elvis Presley · "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee · "Love Will Keep Us Together" by Captain & Tennille · "Baby, I Love Your Way" by Peter Frampton

Going through a divorce is a mixed bag of feelings for everyone involved, especially children. They may have numerous questions and concerns about the changes happening in their family dynamics. Kids ask lots of questions, and these may happen immediately or down the road as they process their reality. We have curated a list of possibilities: 1. Why are Mom and Dad, or Mom and Mom, or Dad and Dad getting divorced? This is one of the most common questions children ask. It's important to provide age-appropriate explanations and reassure them that the decision is not their fault. Emphasize that you have grown apart and that the divorce has nothing to do with their love for the child or children. Let them know that you want them to express their feelings about the situation with either of you. 2. Will I still see both of you? Children worry about losing contact with one or both parents after a divorce. Reassure them that they will continue to have a relationship with both parents. Explain the custody arrangement or, for kinder, gentler words, their new schedule (note see our blog on schedules) in a way that they can understand and let them know that both parents still love and care for them. 3. Will you get back together? Children may hold onto hope that their parents will reconcile. Be honest but gentle in your response, explaining that sometimes people decide they are happier apart. Assure them that both parents will always be there for them, even though they won't live together. This is a big one. Children may not at first ask this; it could be days or months, but in my situation, it was years later – that one of my children asked, would you be happier married to Daddy? Or are you ever getting back together? The problematic answer (unless you plan on reconciling) – is a simple reinforcement of the word “No.” NOTE: do not say probably not, or that’s a possibility. Children take this to heart and find hope when you will disappoint them later. Followed by our family is still family, though we live apart. We both love you unconditionally, and we grew apart and feel that this is the best way for us to be happier as we get older. 4. Is it my fault?: Children often blame themselves for their parents' divorce. It's crucial to emphasize that it is not their fault and that the decision is solely between the parents; explain that sometimes adults must make hard decisions to become better parents. Again, reassure them they are loved unconditionally, regardless of the divorce. 5. Will we have to move? Children may worry about changes in their living situation. Be open and honest about any potential moves, explaining the reasons behind them. Assure them that their well-being is a priority and that both parents will work together to create a stable and loving home for them. This is another one because no matter what, the person who moves out is the person who is to blame for this situation at hand, even though, most times, it is a mutual decision. Tread carefully on this topic and get the children involved in picking out their room, colors, and more. 6. Can I still have holidays and celebrations? Children may fear that divorce will disrupt family traditions and special occasions. Reassure them that holidays and celebrations will still be cherished and that new traditions can be created post-divorce. Show them that both parents will make efforts to create positive memories. Some families find new traditions, and some children are old enough to want traditions to stay the course. At any rate, please set expectations for the child due to the fact they are holding on to the past (which is totally fine); however, establishing new or modified traditions is key. 7. Will you stop fighting? Divorce often arises from conflicts, which can be distressing for children. Assure them that although the parents will no longer be together, they will strive to maintain a peaceful and respectful co-parenting relationship. Emphasize that their well-being is prioritized. Let’s say, in other words, there was no fighting but so much tension you could cut through it with a knife. This is the hardest to explain because, in a child’s mind – no fighting means you are/were happy with your partner. As adults, this is tough; focus on the part you grew apart, and you want each other to be satisfied in the long run. 8. Can I see my friends and pets? Kids may worry about losing connections with friends and beloved pets due to changes in living arrangements. Reassure them that their relationships with friends and pets will be maintained and they will still have opportunities to spend time with them. Also, remind them they can make new friends at one of their new homes. 9. Is it normal to feel sad or angry? Validating a child's emotions is crucial during this difficult time. Let them know that it is entirely normal to feel sad, angry, or confused about the divorce. Encourage open communication and let them know that their feelings will be acknowledged and supported. Answer as many questions as you can, however, be completely honest; kids are so intuitive that they will read right through you. Also, tell them you feel that way sometimes; it's expected we are all human. 10. Will you get remarried? Children may have concerns about their parents moving on and finding new partners. Be open to this question and explain that it is possible, but reassure them that the child will always be loved and cared for. Though you may find a new partner to spend the rest of your life with and realize the kids may love or hate them. Try as hard as you can to make this a smooth transition and slowly integrate your new partner. Understanding the questions and concerns that children often have during a divorce is essential in supporting them through this challenging time. Responding with empathy, honesty, and reassurance can help alleviate their worries and ensure they feel loved and secure throughout the process. By addressing these top 10 questions, parents can foster a sense of stability and understanding in their children as they navigate the complexities of divorce. We hope this helps you at least begin the conversation with your kids. Yours truly, Erin Time to Dish: · What type of questions have you received? How did you answer them? · Do you have a cordial relationship with your ex? If not, this is hard to navigate, but list some ways that could help this transition. · There is often trauma in a divorce situation; if the kids have seen this – they may ask more detailed questions. How will you answer?