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- Divorce & Money
Divorce is an emotional time, and the financial aspect of divorce can be very complicated. If you're considering a divorce, it's essential to understand your income and expenses to plan for what happens next. Alimony is an agreement between two people where one person pays the other after divorce. In most cases, alimony is calculated by the judge based on many factors, including the standard of living during your marriage, length of the marriage, and other factors. An agreement with your partner or written contract can help you manage the financial aspects of alimony and child support payments after a divorce takes place because it outlines how much money each party will receive from one another regularly or as needed throughout their lives together as co-parents raising children together (or separately). Whether you have a partner or written agreement with someone else who has filed for divorce in their state (or the state where they live), it's important to understand how child support works to make decisions about whether or not you can afford this type of financial obligation after separating from one another legally through court proceedings with attorneys present who help negotiate agreements between partners who decide how assets will be divided up according Money and divorce can be a complicated matter. Money is a big part of divorce. You must understand the financial aspects of your divorce, including: What assets and debts are involved? How much does each item cost? Who is paying for what? In addition to knowing how much money you have, how much debt there is, and what bills need to be paid every month, it's also critical that both parties understand who will pay for what during the process. Knowing your income and expenses is important if you're getting divorced. This will help you figure out how much money you'll have after divorce, which can be used to pay alimony and child support. Alimony is calculated by the judge in your state based on many factors, including the standard of living during your marriage, the length of your marriage, and other factors. You may be entitled to alimony if you have been married for less than ten years; it's possible that you could get maintenance even if you have been married for more than ten years. Several factors will determine the amount and duration of alimony: Whether or not one spouse was employed during most or all of their marriage (e.g., "breadwinner") The needs of each spouse during divorce proceedings (e.g., one spouse has health problems) An agreement with your partner or a written contract can help you manage the financial aspects of alimony and child support payments: Alimony and child support payments can be challenging if you don't have a partner or written agreement with your ex. Without an arrangement, the judge will decide how much alimony and child support you pay based on their judgment of what is fair. If you do have an agreement with your ex-spouse, however, then it might be easier for both parties to agree on how much each must pay for them both to live comfortably after the divorce has taken place. If you're wondering how child support is calculated in your state or how it's paid, collected, and modified, this article is for you. It's also worth noting that child support can be terminated if one of the parents dies or if the child becomes emancipated (meaning they are no longer dependent on their parents). It's essential to know about divorce costs such as attorney fees, court costs, and more before deciding whether or not you can afford a divorce: The cost of divorce can vary greatly depending on the state and your circumstances. Attorney fees can range from $5,000 to $50,000, and court costs range between $1,000 and $20,000. Divorce takes time and effort, so you must consider all of these factors before deciding whether or not you can afford divorce. It would be best if you considered everything involved in divorce when making financial decisions: When you're going through a divorce, it's essential to consider all aspects of the process. Feeling your income, expenses, and partner's would be best. It would be best to consider what your children need regarding support during this time. You'll want to talk with an attorney about how much they will charge for his services (and how much money is available). Finally, you'll need to know how much court costs are expected for each case--and whether there will be any other fees involved with filing paperwork or appearing at court hearings or trials. Suppose you are going or thinking about divorce. Know your financial numbers and be prepared to discuss with everyone involved, i.e., partner and divorce lawyer. Good Luck!
- Life is short; don't close your eyes after a divorce.
Your marriage may end, but you must not close your eyes. There's so much to see out there! Just because you are divorced does not mean you have to stop living. Even though you are divorced, it does not mean your life has to stop. You can still live a happy life. You can still enjoy your time and have fun. Find a new way to enjoy life. You can still be friends with your ex-spouse. It's not easy and will take a while, but it is possible. It may take some time, but there are things you can do to help yourself get there. You'll need to put in the effort and always stay civil towards each other (unless there's an emergency or something). Find something to make you happy to help you cope with the divorce. Take up painting, join a club or class, go on a trip, or spend time with friends and family. Get a pet if it makes sense for your life right now (and remember, pets need love, too). Remember, you can find love again, maybe not immediately; however, be open to it. You must be available to possibilities and willing to put yourself out there. It's essential not only for your happiness but also for your children's well-being. When one parent is happy and fulfilled, it helps create a stable environment for them--one where they feel safe, secure, and loved by both parents (or caregivers). Take time for yourself and enjoy the time alone if this is what will make you feel better. You don't want to be alone forever, but this period is an integral part of your life, and it's okay if you need some time for yourself. You can use that time to do things that make you happy, like going out with friends or taking up hobbies like painting or photography. When doing these things, you will feel better about yourself; they will also help you cope with divorce! Let's face it: divorce is hard. You've lost your spouse, home, and often half of your assets. It's tempting to give up and crawl into bed for months with a tub of Ben & Jerry's while binge-watching Netflix shows. But life doesn't have to stop there! There are many ways to live happily after divorce, even if you're not ready or able to date again right away: In the end, we hope you can find comfort in knowing that there are many ways to live happily after divorce. No matter what stage of life you are in or what kind of relationship with your ex-spouse, there is always something good waiting for us if we look hard enough. Get out there, explore, and remember to always take time for yourself! Erin Time to Dish: · What are some projects you can do that will provide happiness? PS This is not a person (you do not need a person as a project) · What helped you most after you divorced? · What do you do daily to take care of yourself? Listen and get support:
- Divorcee Dish Rules
A MESSAGE FROM OUR AUTHOR AND PUBLISHER: I founded the Divorcee Dish brand in 2022, inspired by my divorce and its effect on me, my children, my family, and my friends. Our humble beginnings as a blog resource for divorcees include insight and support for the people who need it most: those considering divorce, in the middle of a divorce, or settling into a single life after divorce. Those blogs have since been compiled into two paperback books, e-books, and audiobooks, which I have been incredibly proud to share. Our mission has always been to create a sense of community among divorcees so that we can lean on each other. We share our stories about what has worked for us (and what hasn’t), but we also want to hear your experiences. We hope that by reading or listening to Divorcee Dish, you'll feel less alone—and more prepared to make the best possible decisions for yourself and your family. We are here to provide support and insight to the people who need it most—and believe that no matter what stage of separation and divorce you're in, you deserve to be heard. Now, here’s what we’re not. We are not a dating or hookup site for those looking for a quick roll in the hay, those who revel in perverse email and text exchanges, and crass, crude language flowing back and forth on our blog, website, and social media channels. Divorcee Dish is written by and for adults who genuinely want to make a better life on their own or with someone decent and respectable. Suppose you do not fit into that category. We do not accept unwarranted messages, inappropriate sexual content, and advances. You will be immediately banned from this community. Please play by the rules and share your stories. Thank you, Erin Dullaghan Jones
- What happened to the art of real conversation?
I know we live in an age of social media and whatnot, and the world is wild; everyone is busy and feels like they are moving in one million directions. People often do not slow down enough to practice common courtesies, especially regarding communication. Talking on your phone when someone else is trying to converse with you. Not saying thank you when someone does something nice for you (like holding the door open). Not looking people in the eyes because your head is down on your phone. Multitasking/distractions during a meeting or date. Texting has obliterated the art of conversation. Text messages have replaced phone calls, in-person meetings, and dating. Now you can send a text message to your crush as quickly as you'd order takeout food through an app on your smartphone or tablet. While this is convenient for many people, it also comes with consequences: texting lacks etiquette or respect for others' time and feelings--and it's easy to forget that there are real people on the other side of those screens! Ironically, phone calls are considered more personal than text messaging, but they are not. Texting is a tool for communication, not a replacement for human interaction. Phone calls can be made or received at any time of day without much effort on your part (and most phones have a built-in answering machine). Texts arrive only when you want them to--you don't have to worry about waking up someone who needs rest because they're sick or tired from work. Phone calls also allow us to connect in ways we wouldn't otherwise be able to through written words alone: inflections in our voices convey emotion; facial expressions can say more than any sentence ever could; body language helps communicate meaning without having to say anything at all! Texting is impersonal and requires no effort from the sender to express their feelings or attention to detail. It is easy for someone to text you without thinking about what they say or how it will make you feel. Texting requires no thoughtfulness or consideration because it's all done via text message, which removes all human interaction from the equation. You know, the person who texts you instead of calling you. The one who wants to avoid meeting in person would rather text than meet face-to-face. They're probably not even dating anyone right now--and if they do, it's only because their partner can't stand them either. It's a shame that so many people have come to rely on texting as their primary means of communication with others; it's like they don't want anything beyond words on a screen--no voice inflection or facial expression, or body language! It makes sense, though: If someone's never heard your voice before (or seen your face), they won't realize how annoying it is when you talk too fast or breathe loudly through your nose while chewing food loudly... Texting is impersonal. You can't see the person you're texting with, so it's impossible to know their mood or tone when they reply. When we talk face-to-face with someone, we can tell if they are happy or sad based on their facial expressions and body language; but when you're texting someone you don't know well enough to read those signals yet (or at all), it's hard not to feel like all your messages are being read by robots! Texting also lacks depth: there's no way for two people who don't know each other very well yet--and especially if those two people aren't talking face-to-face--to get into anything meaningful over text message because there's no way for either party involved in this "conversation" (if one could even call it that). Texting is NOT a substitute for talking with people face-to-face. If something essential needs saying, pick up the phone and call them instead of sending them an impersonal text message (or email). You'll avoid misunderstanding and miscommunication altogether. Texting is an excellent tool for communication, but there are others. If you use your phone as an excuse not to talk face-to-face with people, you're missing out on all kinds of opportunities for human connection. Texting also lacks civility, etiquette, and manners, meaning it's time for us all to take a step back from our phones to reconnect in person! Let's start a movement - call a friend or loved one today or someone you have been texting about a date! Your voice is your art of communication. xoxo Erin
- Managing Work & Kids After Divorce
Managing work and kids after a divorce can be one of the most challenging aspects of your post-split life. You've left a relationship but aren't always sure how to handle being alone. And now you must deal with the fact that your kids are sad about their parent's separation—and may even be acting out because of it! Here are some tips for making things easier for both you and your children during this challenging time: Create a schedule that works for everyone: Once your schedule is in place, it's essential to stick with it. Your children will benefit from having a daily routine and knowing what to expect. But if something happens or one child needs more attention than usual, don't be afraid to change things around. Certain days work better for everyone than others--say there are extracurricular activities on Fridays and Saturdays that take up most of your time (and maybe even into the evenings). Or Saturdays are better because they offer more opportunities for playdates or other social activities than other weekdays. That's okay! It's all about finding what works best for everyone involved and ensuring everyone has enough time together without feeling overwhelmed by their responsibilities at home and outside of school/work/etcetera. Don't be afraid to ask for help: Feel free to ask for help. You may feel like you need to do everything independently, but that's only sometimes realistic. If you have friends or family willing and able to help with babysitting, household chores, and other tasks, take them up on their offers. Your kids will benefit from having extra attention from other adults in their lives. You can also ask your ex-spouse if they would be willing to watch the kids occasionally so that you can go out with friends or get some much-needed adult time on your own-- make sure it's something both parents agree upon first! Be flexible. Flexibility is critical when it comes to managing work and kids after divorce. Feel free to change the schedule, ask for help, and call in sick when needed. Being flexible will make your life easier in the long run and help keep things running smoothly at home with your kids. Introduce your kids to their new routines. Introduce your kids to their new routines. Explain to them that you are doing your best and ask for their help. Be patient and calm; this can be challenging for everyone involved. You can do this. You are a great parent with the strength to endure this time. You can be the best parent for your kids, even if they aren't living with you full-time. There are many ways to balance work and kids after divorce. The most important thing is to remember that you can do it! Remember to create a schedule that works for everyone, and don't be afraid to ask for help when needed. It's also important to keep things flexible so everyone feels comfortable in their new routine. Introducing your kids to new ways can be challenging but will pay off in the long run as they adjust more easily over time. Please Remember to take care of yourself! xoxo Erin
- Dating: Application Tips & Tricks
Dating apps have taken over the dating landscape in a big way. They offer convenience and ease and are a great way to meet new people. If you've never used dating applications before, it can be hard to know what to do or how to start. That's why we've put together this handy guide for those of you who are just getting started with dating apps! How to Navigate: You can swipe right on someone if you like them or swipe left if you don't. If they do the same, it's a match, and you can start chatting! If someone doesn't want to match with you, don't take it personally; they just may not be interested in dating at this time or place. Try again another time when/where it works better for both parties involved. What to do if someone doesn't want to match with me? Don't worry about it--they might not be into who YOU are yet! Give yourself some time and try again later when/where things might go better than before (and vice versa). That said: if someone continues rejecting multiple attempts at making contact over several days' worth of interactions, then perhaps this isn't going anywhere. What dating application do you choose? Are you looking for someone who is in your age range? Are you looking for someone with similar interests and hobbies? Do you want to be able to meet people who live near you, or would you instead meet someone from across the country or the world? These are all important questions when considering what dating application suits you. How many dating applications are out there? There are a lot of dating apps out there. Some are free, and some are paid, but they all have one thing in common: they're meant to help you find your soulmate. The best part? There's something for everyone! If you're looking for a serious relationship and have your eye on another person with the same goal, check out Match or eHarmony. If casual hookups are more your speed, Grindr might be right up your alley (or down your pants). And if neither of these options sounds like what you're looking for--maybe because you have yet to learn yourself or someone else told them what kind of partner would suit them--then OkCupid is probably where it's at! The first thing you will want to do is think about why you are using a dating app. Are you looking for love? Or just some sex? Maybe both! If you want to find someone who shares your interests and values, then an app like Tinder may be better for you than one like OKCupid or Match.com. If the latter is more your speed, then there are still ways for those who have no interest in meeting their soulmate through technology: many bars now have Tinder nights where singles can go out together and swipe right (or left) on each other over drinks instead of just staring at their phones all night long until they get tired enough that they go home alone--and then cry themselves to sleep over it because no one ever wants them anyway because everyone else has moved on from being single too so why won't anyone ever love me again?! Tips for the best chances of matching: Choose a dating app that is right for you. Make sure the app is free and easy to use. Make sure the app is secure, primarily if you use it to meet strangers or plan your first date. Choose an app with a large user base so that plenty of people might be interested in meeting someone like you! You need to make sure you're using a dating app that will be helpful to you. The first thing you need to do is make sure you're using a dating app that will be helpful to you. Don't just use one; try a few. You can use more than one at once, but make sure they're all geared toward what you're looking for in terms of location and age range. If your goal is finding someone in your area or nearby cities, go with something like Tinder or Bumble (better if you want women). If your dream date is someone who lives across the country and has no interest in traveling there anytime soon, consider using Grindr or Scruff (the former being better if it's men). We hope this article has helped you to make an informed decision about which dating app is best for you. There are so many options out there, but with some careful thought and research, we're sure you'll find one that works well for your needs. Here is a complete list from Tom's Guide. Dating is not simple these days at any age, especially with technology; however, you can also use dating apps for pure entertainment :) Remember, you can have our new Audiobook for FREE. just email us at divorceedish@gmail.com xoxo Erin
- And they can not text you back--- WHAT?
I'm sure you've been there: You text someone, and they don't respond. Then, you wait and decide it's time to give up. But then you wonder...why did they ignore me? Were they just busy? Was there another reason why they didn't respond? Well, I'm here to tell you why! When someone doesn't respond to your text, they are ignoring you. It's rude and disrespectful, and they don't care much about you. And you deserve a heckuva lot better than that! Theory: People will think they are more important than you, but need more time to respond. Have you ever been on a date, and then the person you've been with doesn’t text you back? It's a horrible feeling. You may think they are somehow more important than you & need more time to respond...but I've learned not to buy that one. Honestly, it makes them look like an idiot because they are sooooo busy that they cannot even take the time to respond. Puh-leeze. You may also feel that this person does not care about what is going on in your life. Perhaps something terrible has happened to you, e.g. your car broke down or got hit by another vehicle while parked on the street. You feel like crap but they aren't really that interested if they've gone silent. It can feel like a sick game. It boils down to this: If you're wondering why someone doesn't answer your texts, most likely that they don't want to talk to you. They may be testing the waters to see if they can get away with not answering and then maybe give it another shot later down the road. You know what? That's fine. But if this person isn't willing or able at this point (or ever), please move on! They want to spend their time responding only if theyre interested in you. It's all about them. If they do respond, and it's a short and straightforward response (like "I like your profile"), then maybe you have a shot at getting them out on a date. But if they don't even bother answering your message, it's best to avoid sending any more messages or trying again later. However, if it seems like they might be interested in dating you but don't text back right away, wait it out! They'll get back to you eventually if they want to date someone as awesome as you. But when it comes to texting, or not, keep these points in mind, they can be mind-blowing: People are less critical than you You are the only one who can make your life better or worse, so it's up to you to take care of yourself first and foremost. Always look out for number one So, if you've ever wondered why someone won't text back, now you know. Likely, they don't want to talk to you or are too busy. But don't worry; plenty of other people out there will respond when they receive your message because they are actual adults who know how to communicate. Be true to yourself, Erin Time to Dish: Have you ever not texted someone back? How do you feel when you text, and someone does not text you back? How did you handle that situation? Can you honestly believe that grown adults - get stuck on stupid? Get your FREE Divorcee Dish ebook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C9SFP48W
- Divorcee Dish TWO
We are back with new content and for a short period of time we have this FREE on #AmazonKindle - get it while you can :) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C9SFP48W
- Divorcee Dish TWO is now available as an audiobook, and you can listen for FREE!
Please message us for a CODE - limited availability! We are thrilled to announce that @DivorceeDish TWO is now available. Check it out: https://adbl.co/3DQ0stW
- How do you change your attitude about divorce?
I know it's not easy to change your attitude about divorce when you're in the middle of one. Divorce is stressful for everyone involved: You, your soon-to-be-ex spouse, and especially your kids. However, if you can find a way to accept that things are indeed changing – and, surprise, maybe even embrace them – I promise it'll make things easier for everyone involved. It might even help with that whole happiness thing we all want so much! Here are some tips: It would be best if you considered talking to a professional. If you're having trouble coping with divorce, seeking help is crucial. And you don't have to do it alone, nor should you feel alone. So many resources available in person and online, including counselors and support groups, can help you through this challenging time in your life. You might not have a choice about the divorce. If you're in an irreconcilable situation and a divorce is inevitable, you must consider improving your life afterward. Focus on the positive aspects of being single again and what it will mean for your future happiness. Sure, you’ll think about what you'll miss from the marriage but focus on what you'll gain from being single again. Instead of focusing on the negative, think about what you can do to improve your life. Banish thinking about what you don't want, like being single again or having to pay alimony; think about what is good for you and how it will affect your life moving forward. Think about how good it feels when someone tells us we look nice today or brings us flowers just because they think of us. Think about all those little things that make up our day-to-day lives and how much better those moments are than any big ones could ever be! Paying attention to yourself and your feelings is essential when going through a divorce. Be honest about what went wrong in your marriage and what role you played in its demise. Learn from your mistakes by thinking carefully about how they might have been avoided or minimized if you'd done things differently. Remember that you are not alone; many people have dealt with divorce before, and many will again in their future relationships. Please seek out these friends who have been through similar experiences so that they can help guide you through this challenging time. Finally, take some time now while things are still fresh on your mind. Consider what changes need to be made so that things go better for everyone involved (including yourself) next time. Think about what parts of the relationship were good--and which weren't so great after all... Think about what you'll miss from the marriage and what you'll gain from being single again. You will miss the good times you had with your spouse. You may have been married for a long time, and there were some excellent moments then. But with divorce, you'll also gain freedom, independence, and a chance to be yourself again. You might have been living someone else's idea of what life should be like if you were married or in a long-term relationship before getting divorced. Now you can try new things and live a different life than what was expected of you by others' standards (or even your own). Also, this is a big one: You cannot control your kids' feelings about the divorce, but you can be a good role model. Children learn from their parents, and it's essential that you are happy and healthy for yourself. Remember that it's better for your kids if you're happy and healthy once they're grown up and out of the house. Being sad, angry, and scared is OK - those are all normal emotions. But don't let those feelings take over your life or get in the way of your kids' lives too much. They need to have both parents involved in their lives after the divorce as much as possible (and this doesn't mean every day). The Wrap-Up. If you find that one or more of these feelings are overwhelming you or making things worse than they need to be, it may help if you find someone who knows how hard this time can be on people like family members/friends who have been through similar situations themselves before so they might understand what we're going through better than others do too. It's never easy to go through a divorce, but it can be much more complicated if you're not in a good place mentally. If you find yourself struggling with your attitude about divorce and other life changes, don't hesitate to seek help from someone who can guide you through the healing process so that one day soon (hopefully), all will be well again. It takes time and work; however, we believe in you and are here for you anytime at https://www.divorceedish.com/contact-us. You got this! Erin Listen to DIVORCEE DISH TWO for FREE - message us!
- Dating/Divorce: Why they mess with your head.
You know the feeling: you see someone, and your mind starts spinning. Maybe they're hot, or funny, or smart, there’s just something about them him or her that makes you think twice. BUT…you can't quite put your finger on it. There’s something off about them in a way that's hard to describe. Then boom, they go out of their way to be nice to you, and suddenly everything seems perfect…until they do something totally un-perfect again. However, don't worry if this sounds familiar. It happens to everyone at one point or another once you dive into the dating pool. Here are some common reasons why people might mess with your head (and how to deal). · They are into you. The worst part about this is that it's all in your head. Yes! The other person isn't trying to be mean or hurtful; they're just being themselves and doing what comes naturally to them. They don't know how you feel about them, so they're trying to figure out if there's any potential for a romantic relationship between the two of you. And if this person does like you, then he/she might think it would be better if he/she made the first move instead of waiting for something from you first, e.g., a kiss or some form of physical contact (holding hands). When someone likes another person who doesn't return those feelings back yet, they may try harder until they succeed at getting closer physically by initiating more intimate interactions like kissing on the lips with tongue involved! Whoa, jackpot! · They are scared. They are afraid of getting hurt, they are afraid of rejection, and they are afraid of being vulnerable. They often don't want to show their true selves because they think that you will reject them if you know who they really are. It's easier for them to lie (ugh) than tell the truth because then there is less chance of getting hurt or rejected by someone else. The truth hurts but so does lying! Lying makes your heart heavy inside while telling the truth sets your mind free from burdens and guilt feelings that come with deceiving others around us in our daily lives. As human beings co-existing on planet earth together peacefully side by side as one big family…it’s called "humanity" and it freaks a lot of people out, hence the lies. · They are confused. They don't know how they feel and they're not sure what they want, so they mess with your head to try and figure it out. They are afraid of hurting you or losing you, which causes them to act out in ways that make no sense at all. They may even think that if they do enough crazy stuff, then something will change for the better (really cray cray). But instead of getting closer together as a result of their antics (which is what most people hope for), this behavior only makes things worse between the two of you. Here's the deal: Get to know your own intentions and those of the other person, before moving forward by asking yourself these questions: 1) Why am I considering this person? What do I want from him/her? 2) How does this person make me feel? Is it a good feeling or a bad one, and why do I think that's so (or not)? 3) What is true for me right now? What isn't true for me right now? What do I want to be true in my life and how can this person help me get there? I hope this article has helped shed some light on why people mess with your head, and what you can do about it. And remember that there are always two sides to every story, so don't jump to conclusions without understanding both sides first! Keep your heads together, Erin Time to Dish: What can you do to stop being messed with? What are some statements you can create to help you? How will you create boundaries? Listen to DIVORCEE DISH TWO
- Post Divorce: When do you begin to date after divorce & you have kids?
It feels GREAT when you’re ready to start dating after your divorce. It means you’ve moved on and are prepared to begin a new chapter in your life. However, going from being a married man or woman and a parent no less to starting over as single and dating again can be highly stressful. You want to ensure you’re OK with it, especially that your children are OK with it, but how do you tell them? Here are some tips on how to express to your family that you're ready for a new relationship: Start When You Are Ready YOU, Y-O-U. You’ve been through a lot; getting your life back on track can take time. Before jumping into another relationship, you must have your life in order, financially and emotionally. Beware of someone with baggage or drama; they will only bring more stress into your life, which will cause more problems than they are worth. Note the below: You must be stable. We all have our ups and downs, but if there are signs of depression or anxiety on your end or his/hers, this is not the right time for dating. Remember that you don't want anyone else's problems affecting yours. Remember how hard it was dealing with them alone? Imagine how much harder it would be if someone else had them too, which carried over into your life. Be happy. Suppose there aren't any signs of depression or anxiety, but instead, there is anger toward others. This is not healthy behavior either, so please seek help before trying a new relationship. Anger management classes exist for reasons like these, so perhaps you should sign up today and learn more about it. Tell Your Kids Before Dating & Be Honest With Them You must be honest with your kids and tell them what’s happening. Let them know that you are thinking about dating again and why it's essential for you to do so. And gently tell them what you expect from them while you are dating (or considering dating). And note there’s a difference between being honest and sharing too much. You don't want to lie or hide the truth from your children, but sometimes it's best to wait until they are older before opening up about your dating life. Whether or not you choose to tell them about the other person depends on how intense the relationship is and how much time has passed since your divorce was finalized; if you're beginning to date after the divorce and aren't sure if this person could become “the one,” hold off on telling them about yourself and your kids until things are more settled in both areas of life. Listen to Your Kids and Understand Them When you begin dating after divorce, listening to and understanding your kids is essential. They are going through a lot of emotions, changes, and growth. They are also facing challenges that they may not have experienced before. But remember, it’s OK for you as a parent (or guardian) to share how you feel about dating again after divorce so that your child feels comfortable talking about their feelings about this new relationship with someone else who loves them dearly, you. Give Them Time to Adjust When you begin to date after a divorce, it's important not to rush into anything. You don't want your kids or ex-spouse to feel like they're being pushed out of your life. Give them time to adjust and get comfortable with this new normal for both them and you. It's also important not to rush into a relationship just because you want one badly. It might be tempting when everyone around seems happy in theirs but remember, everyone's situation is different, and there may be a good reason why someone isn't ready or willing yet (or ever, for that matter). You should always do what feels suitable for yourself and your kids first! What’s the best way to tell your kids? When you begin to date after a divorce, you'll want to ensure your kids understand and feel safe in their homes. Here are some tips for telling them: Tell them before you start dating. The earlier, the better. It's best to hear from a parent rather than a friend or family member who might need to have all the facts straight (or even care). Do this in person. If not, write your child a personal letter explaining that someone else will be coming into your and their lives and why it's happening so soon after their parent’s separation/divorce. Tell them when they're always calm and not angry with either parent (which is always it seems!). This way, they'll be able to process what is being stated more quickly than if they were already upset about something else, such as schoolwork deadlines or having just lost a critical soccer game against another team from across town yesterday! It's important to remember that kids are incredibly intuitive and innovative and know more than we give them credit for. They understand what is going on in their parent’s lives and want to be involved in the decision-making process. We can help our children by listening to what they say and ensuring they feel safe talking about what they think about the new person coming into their life without judgment or criticism from us. Everyone deserves happiness; sometimes, it just takes time. Love, Erin Time to Dish: · When did you start dating after your divorce or separation? · How was it? · How did you find a person? · When did you introduce your children? Listen to DIVORCEE DISH TWO












